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Hi, Logan,

It’s great! You don’t need me to tell you that you write very well, and that your imagination and descriptive ability are tops! What I might recommend is something I also have trouble with — pick a tense and stick with it. And little grammatical things like “I laid”, which describes you laying something on a bed, not yourself. It would be “I lay.” And Olympics is a name, a needs a cap. Are you sure “fastidious” is the right word there?  But really, it’s a glorious piece! Thanks for sending it to me.                                                                                                                                                                                     —–Gord—–